Hello there, dear ones. It has been far too long. I have a couple of quiet hours a week where my children go to a group, and all is still and quiet in our home. I breathe a sigh, still my racing mind as best as I can, and find myself writing once more. My head feels full and forgetful most days at the moment. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a homeschool mother to two beautiful children with additional needs. I’m also a two-time cancer survivor which has left its own scars as I journey forward. A combination of this plus general life has left me slower of mind. But the writer in me carries on because this is a marathon, not a sprint.

It has been a deeply challenging time to write, and it feels harder to find words to form those things we call sentences. I’ve been praying for a while now about what writing looks like for me now. One thing that is still as clear as ever: I am to continue to write to the glory of God. And I pray, as I do, it will be of help to someone out there and that the Lord will get all the glory for it. So with that as the light by which I see, I trust the Lord to illuminate what is lacking in me.

Truth To Chew On

As I sat down to write tonight in this short window of time, I wanted to leave something to encourage you from Colossians 1:27: ‘…Christ in you, the hope of glory’. That is not the full verse, nor am I looking at it in its full context (which is not usually a great idea for unpacking what God is saying to us in His Word!). But it caught my eye because it is so simple, yet so profound. Christ in you. He is the one who is at work within us every moment.

When we are caring for another soul made in the image of God, Jesus Himself, by His Spirit, is working in us and through us. We are never alone as we care. It might feel like it. It might appear true if we were counting just you, the caregiver, always pouring out with little visible support around you. Yet, this small verse says that Christ is in you. You are not on your own.

A Beautiful Union

If you’re anything like me, you often forget that the Son of God dwells in you by His Spirit. It seems silly to write that, but if I said you rush on ahead and do things on your own without praying about it first, or carry on in your own strength, maybe that is more familiar! We are so quick to forget this beautiful union of Christ in us and us in Christ. We are hidden in Him in the heavens where He is. Yet, His Spirit is living in us now as we go about our day. We are united to Him in His life, death and resurrection. Wow!

Christ in us is an incredibly comforting and profound truth to ponder. So when you are at the end of yourself, remember Christ is in you, sustaining and strengthening you moment by moment. It is His power and grace at work in your life. Every day that you wake up, it’s a new day to glorify Him, to depend on Him, and to be uphel by Him. He is the hope of glory. Without Him, where is our hope? But with Christ and being in Christ, this union is binding and beautiful. He dwells in us now as we live and move and go about our day. But one day we will be raised with Him and will see Him face to face. What glorious hope!

I struggle with distraction, tiredness, forgetfulness, and low mood at times. I’m sure you can relate. But remembering this short, simple, profound truth is worth stopping and praising God for. We may not always be able to remember as much Scripture as we would like. We may not get that peaceful quiet time to soak up all of the truth we long for.

But Jesus is in us. And He loves us.

He is your hope and my hope every day and always. Life may be swirling you around like a washing machine on an unstable surface at full spin. Maybe you feel more like the odd sock that doesn’t quite make the laundry load at all. At your worst, you just feel like a dirty load that is piling up in a basket with no end in sight. Regardless, Christ has made you clean. In Him, you are made perfect, spotless and holy. Rest in that truth today.

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I have been pondering these questions for myself and those I know who are caregiving in some way. Prayers have been offered up, yet nothing seems to shift. Trying to shift your own perspective in your own strength and work it out your own way is heavy and never seems to last long. It’s actually exhausting. Waiting on the Lord seems like a class that we never seem to graduate from (with cries of “What lesson are you still trying to teach me Lord?”).

The answer is always trust.

It matters who and what we put our trust in. People, services, agencies, finances, equipment, expectations… they will let us down at some point. But Christ is trustworthy because He cannot lie and because He is truth. Therefore, what He says and what He has done stands, and it remains when everything else falls apart. Where do we get to find out about all of this?

Through His Word.

The Bible is a living and active book because it is God’s Word to us. On its pages are prophecies to come, prophecies fulfilled, historical information, poetry that encourages the downcast, wisdom to guide, stories that show us who God is and how He leads and upholds His people faithfully. It is real. It shows the messiness of sin and suffering. It shows us the love of our Saviour for us.

Now, I know that what I am sharing here is probably not new to you. But that is precisely the point. I am directing your gaze lovingly back to remember the promises of our Faithful God and King. We all need reminding of them daily. They are scattered throughout the Bible and you can feast yourself on how rich they are. But that’s not always easy when life is hectic, pressured, and all-consuming.

So we start small.

And we remember that God multiplies and gives the increase. It’s not about how much you know or how much you read or listen to God’s Word (although the more you can, the more nourished you will probably feel). But Jesus says come to Him and He will give you rest. So we come to Jesus by faith through prayer when we are up in the middle of the night changing bedding. We come to Jesus when tears flow freely at the end of the day or at the start of a new one. We come to Jesus when we don’t know what to do. We come to Jesus when we need comfort and strength.

We come to Jesus weary, weak, worn, and wounded. We simply come by faith and He receives us where we are at.

Maybe you need to just write a couple of promises from Him and have them somewhere where you can see them. Walk by them and chew over the tasty goodness from heaven to your heart.

Some promises to get you started today:

‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’ (Isaiah 41:10)

‘You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.’ (Isaiah 26:3)

‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.’ (Psalm 32:8)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.’ (Philippians 4:6-8)

‘If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.’ (James 1:5)

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On our coffee table, we have a small nativity set. Just like any surface in our home, the coffee table seems to beckon us to put more things upon it. One evening, I noticed that the nativity was concealed by all of the stuff on the table around it. What a picture it brought to my mind of how, at times, our life can be so full we miss Jesus at the centre of it. The demands, worries, fears, appointments, busyness, pressures, and more can seem to crowd out Christ. He is still very much there. But it gets harder for us to see Him. This in turn makes our overwhelm increase. Our hearts become too overcrowded.

No room at the inn

The journey to the manger began because there was nowhere else for Mary and Joseph to go. Jesus was coming! There was no doubt about it. His imminent arrival and the exact details of His birth were no surprise to God. It was all ordained for this moment in time. Prophecies pointed toward it.

Jesus took a lowly place in an animal food box. Yet, this begins His life as a man yet still fully God. He came to meet the deepest hunger pangs we could ever experience. The hunger for a relationship with the One who made us and loves us. Only He could satisfy our longings. He came to fill us with Himself for He is the Bread of Life. Every need of our heart is met in Him.

Let every heart prepare Him room

We sing ‘Joy to the World’ looking back to the glorious good news of our Saviour being born. This is an anthem to belt out with gusto as we also look forward to the return of our great King Jesus. It will be triumphant. The trumpets will resound! For every caregiver who knows what it is like to deal with overcrowded, noisy spaces with someone who has sensory processing difficulties, that seems like a perfect storm of chaos! But when Jesus returns, our senses will all become more fully alive to the majesty, the beauty, the glory, the victory, the wonder of our Lord. We will not flinch in anxiety at the heavenly host of angels or the volume of the trumpet blast. We will flock to Him — the Good Shepherd of our soul. If we follow Christ, it will be the sweet song of worship to the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God as we meet Him face to face. Can we even begin to imagine the magnificence of this joyful procession?

A room for you

If this time of year magnifies the overwhelm for you, I encourage you to lift your eyes to the hope of your heart, Jesus. He was born into our broken, dark world and knows the temptations and suffering that we experience. He is compassionate and cares for you. Yes, you. His eye is upon you with such a loving gaze that if only you knew, it would still your shaking spirit.

Our Saviour was born to die in the place of sinners, reconciling them to their Creator who loves them eternally. He overcame the grave, for death had no power over Him. He rose again and ascended to His Father’s right hand. He intercedes for His people, praying for us as we persevere and hold fast in faith. Jesus has prepared a place in heaven for you. Our eternal future is secure because of Christ’s finished work on the cross. The presence of Christ is the ultimate present that never stops giving. He is with us by His Spirit, and He Has also gone ahead of us to glory as our Brother and our Friend.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:15-21

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The God Who Loves To Give

Isn’t it wonderful to know that Jesus prays for you? He strengthens you by His Spirit. When you are out of words and do not know what to pray for, the Spirit of God is able to articulate it perfectly. He gives words when we have none. He gives unlimited time to hear from us. He wants us to come to Him. Moment by moment. He is always ready to hear from His children like a good, kind Father. That is who He is.

He gives us the grace we need for the day. The forgiveness we ask for when we sin and the pardon we receive because of the cross. Love that comes from the Father to us — He sent His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. His heart is turned toward us in compassion. He longs for us and has His eye upon us, delighting in us every moment.

We receive hope, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are fruits of the Spirit working in the lives of caregivers committed to following Christ. Boy, don’t we need the Spirit to prune and cultivate it in us! Caregiving is an opportunity for our roots to run deep in Jesus so that these fruits will flourish.

In Christ we have received every spiritual blessing. Our lives are hidden with Christ. We are a new creation. We are clothed in Christ’s righteousness. We are washed clean by His precious blood shed at Calvary for our sin. These are truths to hold on to when we feel we cannot possible carry on.

We have all we need in Christ. Whilst we were enemies of God and dead in sin, Jesus died so we could be made alive in Christ and renewed and restored in right relationship with God.

The God Who Carries Us

Circumstances can be changeable, challenging, and often chaotic. Jesus is unchanging, His burden is light, His plans for all things are ordered. He is sovereign, good and faithful. We can trust Him with our life and for the lives of those that depend on us. Ultimately, we are all dependent on God. He carries us with His everlasting arms underneath, never letting us go. We can sink this secure hope and know there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more or less. We cannot fathom how high, deep, wide and long this love is — but we can pray that we will understand it more deeply. One day we will see in full what only now we see partially. Glory!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Our strength comes from Him alone. I pray today that the Lord will strengthen you afresh. As the apostle Paul prayed for the Ephesians, I pray this for you:

‘I ask that he will strengthen you in your inner selves from the riches of his glory through the Spirit. I ask that Christ will live in your hearts through faith. As a result of having strong roots in love, I ask that you’ll have the power to grasp love’s width and length, height and depth, together with all believers. I ask that you’ll know the love of Christ that is beyond knowledge so that you will be filled entirely with the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19

Rest in Jesus. Cast your anxieties upon Him. He cares for you. Receive His love for you and walk forward in faith knowing that God has gone before you. He will never leave you. He is preparing a place for you where one day you will see Him face to face and be in His presence forever.

Take heart. Take hold of all that is yours in Christ.

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You know that getting out in nature would work wonders. Even a good cup of coffee outside of the house. But you have no one to come and relieve you from caring. Maybe there are no family members or close friends nearby to help practically, no professional carers coming in, or there is anxiety from either you or a loved one if you leave the house.

Getting to listen to your favourite TV show or read a book would be bliss, but you are on a high state of alert waiting for the next emergency call, meltdown or the never-ending interruptions. You can never fully relax and switch off.

Meeting up with friends and sharing what is going on with you is just what you need. But inviting them over is hard because they are busy, or you know you will not be able to share openly. Meeting them somewhere in public means having to get an idea of what the environment could be like for you and the ones in your care. Is it too noisy? Too crowded? Is their a toilet nearby? Even longing to be invited over to someone’s house would be wonderful, but you can’t remember the last time that you were welcomed over by anyone. Trying to accommodate the various needs seem too difficult for them perhaps, but it would be great if somebody at least tried...

Let’s not think about the organisation of a spa day, holidays, attending therapy sessions, joining a regular group, having a good nights sleep, taking up a hobby and all the rest. These are all good things. But they are not always practical or possible. So with all of that said… here are a few ways to look after your wellbeing which I hope are both practical and possible:

1. Jot down thoughts, prayers, and gratitude.

   You might not be a writer. You might not have a lot of time. But try and offload what is going on inside. Don’t hold it all in your head. When I was going through cancer for the second time, I wrote a bullet point list of something to give thanks for — any mercy that I found around me. It soon added up. As my mood and energy levels would peak and trough, I could refer back to the many things around me that were blessings. Pray to your Father in heaven who hears you. That is probably the most practical thing you can do which will be good at any time — day or night.

2. Message someone who will listen.

   A message saying ‘I would really love a chat’ is all it takes to reach out. People may not think without being asked. That can be hard. You also might not have a lot of time to offload to someone, but maybe there is a better time in the day or even in the night, when you know the one you care for will be more occupied. They might be resting or watching something perhaps. You can always try and arrange a phone call around this or leave a voice note on WhatsApp. Maybe share how you may get interrupted, but you would still appreciate a listening ear. Just having another person to talk to can help lessen the feeling of isolation. If you really feel there is no one to talk to, you are welcome to message me: hello@ruthclemence.com

3. Listen to music or gaze at art.

   Whether it’s some nostalgic tunes blasting out or gentle classical music to calm the atmosphere, music is a gift. We don’t have to do anything but let it play. If the noise is a problem for others around you, have one ear piece in or listen to it at a set time when you put the kettle on. Just enjoy it. Maybe art is more your thing. I recently found two art prints in the charity shop and put them up along the stairs. I’ve never really been into art, but I am starting to appreciate the beauty of it more. Monet and Renoir are two artists that I now have paintings of. I would like to get some landscape photographs up there too. Being in the city, it is nice to think upon the wonder of creation in all its splendour. Looking at art and listening to music are a calming oasis in dry, desperate days.

4. Have Bible verses written and stuck around the house.

   Writing truth out and placing it somewhere where you will stop regularly to read it is a wonderful way of keeping your mind on Jesus. It’s easy to lose perspective and feel the creeping in of self-pity at times. Be renewed in your mind and let the Holy Spirit bring these words of hope and life to your attention. Keeping a few on the promises of God are always worth meditating on. We are caring for others who are dependant upon us which is a wonderful ministry. It is a vital ministry of mercy and love. The evil one would do everything to make you forget the kindness and love of God for you as you care. Jesus answered back to the devil’s temptations with scripture. The word of God carries authority and comfort for every situation.

5. Order something to look forward to.

   I don’t know what would bring a smile to your face, but sometimes we have to bring that to our homes! In a day where deliveries can be ordered at a click of a button, it’s never been easier to treat yourself. Caregivers need pick-me-ups too. I know what a blessing it is to receive gifts in the post. Maybe you can purchase some beautiful flowers to brighten up your sitting room. Perhaps a good belly laugh is in order and you buy a comedy to watch or listen to. If you’re like me, a book in the post is glorious! Maybe you can buy some nice body wash, a craft box, art supplies, something to colour, a box of chocolates, a takeaway, a massager for your back or feet, some scented candles or essential oils, new slippers… It doesn’t need to break the bank, but it’s nice to have something to look forward to that is for you!

How do you make time to take care of your wellbeing? Let me know what you do or if you also find it hard to take time to care for yourself. It would be great to hear from you :).

P.S. I know physically exercising is super important too, and I will tag that on here at the end (more as a reminder to myself to get on it). I am hopeless at fitting in a workout, but that is something that I do want to try and get into the habit of doing. Please someone hold me accountable!

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My brain is full of noise. I am constantly bubbling up with ideas, concerns, plans, conversations, and more. If you have ADHD, anxiety, or perhaps something entirely different which means your mind flits from one thing to the next, you may relate to what I am talking about here. It’s a busy world, we lead busy lives, and it feels like that even more so now with the instant, continuous information loop on smartphones.

Therefore, I’m trying to make a little room mentally. Why don’t you join me?

Timeless truth

I’ve been reading a brilliant book called ‘The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment’ by Jeremiah Burroughs. It was written in the 17th century, but it’s a classic and it’s timeless. It has given me a fresh realisation of how shamefully discontent I have been in different areas of my life. Moreover, it has blessed me with a renewed vision for being content in Christ going forward. I think our modern world definitely fans the flames of discontent. But I will not blame technology or modernity for my own struggles. Despite it all, there is beautiful hope.

The Lord Jesus has given us everything we need. We have been reconciled to God because of His blood shed for us at Calvary. His precious blood poured out paid the wages of our sin in full. The Lord loves so fully, so completely, so unimaginably, that it seems utterly ridiculous to seek satisfaction anywhere or in anything other than in the outpouring of His love. His glorious grace for us in our weakness is the balm that we need to apply to our fractious, fast-paced hearts.

Be still

There is a need today to quieten ourselves before our Creator and remember that we are created. We are creatures. Set apart by Him. Chosen and redeemed. This, I would argue, is absolutely urgent for our wellbeing as caregivers. If we busy ourselves with many things, but never stop to lift our eyes to our Saviour, we need to slow down and sit at the feet of Jesus.

Take time to put the technology down. Go outside and pay attention to the shape of the clouds. The colour of the sky. The sounds of the wildlife. The scents a flower. If you can’t get away for just one moment, think about the times when you pause to have a meal, put your head on the pillow, have a shower. If is just snatching a moment here or there, be intentional about praising God. He is worthy of our worship.

He also knows what our life is like. Perhaps our circumstances look as if they will never shift. But we have a God who does not change like shifting shadows. He is with us. We can meet with Him whether life is mad or mundane, whether we are feeling spiritually ready or utterly depleted. He is here. Now. Don’t wait to run to Jesus.

Quieten your heart before Him today. We need His grace moment by moment. We cannot live on our own reserves. We must be filled afresh by the one who knows our earthly frame. One day our bodily tents will return to the dust. But our eternal home starts now. We build for a kingdom not of this world. We build on the firm foundation of Christ. May His Kingdom come, and His will be done, on earth as in heaven. In our lives, in our homes, and in those around us.

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As I was praying, I thought of Jesus telling His disciples to cast their nets before they knew it was Him calling to them, and when they were probably discouraged of having no success in catching fish that night.

John 21:3-8 says:

Simon Peter told them, “I am going fishing.”

“We will go with you,” they said. So they went out and got into the boat, but caught nothing that night.

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not recognize that it was Jesus. So He called out to them, “Children, do you have any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

He told them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it there, and they were unable to haul it in because of the great number of fish.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it) and jumped into the sea. The other disciples came ashore in the boat. They dragged in the net full of fish, for they were not far from land, only about a hundred yards.

Jesus called to them before they knew it was Him. They had nothing to bring. Their nets were empty. We have nothing to bring. We come empty. Yet, He calls us. He planned it before the foundation of the world. We are saved by grace through faith. We have been called and pursued by our Saviour.

Jesus provided immeasurably more than the disciples could have imagined. They could not haul their net in because there were so many fish. We have everything and more that we could possibly have in Christ. He is our Provider.

Reading from Matthew Henry’s commentary, I was struck by how all of the disciples in the boat had a purpose:

He whom Jesus loved was the first that said, It is the Lord. John had cleaved most closely to his Master in his sufferings, and knew him soonest. Peter was the most zealous, and reached Christ the first. How variously God dispenses his gifts, and what difference there may be between some believers and others in the way of their honouring Christ, yet they all may be accepted of him! Others continue in the ship, drag the net, and bring the fish to shore, and such persons ought not to be blamed as worldly; for they, in their places, are as truly serving Christ as the others. The Lord Jesus had provision ready for them. We need not be curious in inquiring whence this came; but we may be comforted at Christ's care for his disciples.

Each disciple was there on the boat with their different gifts, personalities and walk with the Lord. But it was Christ who richly provided for them all. He cared for their needs. He knew what they needed before they asked.

The Gospel Net Is Christ’s Finished Work And Our Call To Follow

What is also striking is how Jesus tells Peter to bring some of the fish he had caught. Peter goes aboard, drags the net to the shore, and it doesn’t break. Isn’t it staggering that Jesus said to Peter previously, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18)? Peter would be a fisher of men; the church would be built up and Peter had a leading role in that. People will be brought to Christ like the fish abundantly held in the net; the gospel will never fail because our God is mighty to save.

God is the one who saves. We cannot save anyone, just like the disciples couldn’t catch the fish without Christ. But Jesus still commands us to follow Him and make disciples. And we do this daily. We lay our lives down. We follow Jesus where He sends. That might look like staying at home and bringing life to those who are there. It could be bringing hope in our community. Some days it might look like an empty net and we cannot see the results we long for. But we still follow and trust in Christ who knows what we need and will provide for every need.

Through the good news of Jesus’s death and resurrection, many people have and will continue to be caught by this gospel net. It is strong, secure, and steadfast. It will not break. Jesus has made it clear that He is building His church and nothing will stand against it.

If you are feeling depleted and worn out, like the disciples after a night of catching nothing, may you hear the call of God afresh. Cast your net — the gospel net — and watch what the Lord will do in your daily life, as you trust Him. It is not in your own strength, talents, knowledge or sheer grit that you continue on this journey. You cannot do it. But Jesus has done it all. He will continue to provide for you every day as you trust in Him. May you, like John, declare that “It is the Lord!”

The net of the gospel has enclosed multitudes, yet it is as strong as ever to bring souls to God.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary

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What are we worth? What is our work worth? The millionaire rich list makes headlines. The salary enters bank accounts at the end of the month. Art now includes a banana taped to a wall and fetches more than you would believe. We place value and worth on pieces of paper, totals on a smartphone, the title of a role in a company. People even make money by putting a price tag on humans. Slavery still exists today.

As caregivers, many of us are unpaid in the eyes of the world. But we still work. Adam and Eve were called to work before payroll and 9-5 shifts existed. Work is work. We are called to cultivate, to work, to serve others.

Work is also worship. Some people misplace worship and idolise their jobs or roles by placing it above other important responsibilities and to the detriment of others. However, when we recognise that everything we do should be for the glory of God (Colossians 3:17), it becomes an offering to Him. He is the one we serve, He is our commanding officer and we are soldiers in His Kingdom and for His Kingdom (see 2 Timothy 2:3-7). We report to no one higher than the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

When we care for another, we are serving Jesus. Our lives are a living sacrifice, poured out and offered up. But let’s not lose sight of our King who also stepped down into our world to serve. He served those who recognised their need for Him. He humbled Himself and offered up His life to die on the cross. He has made a way for the dead in sin to be made alive in Him. He has given us everything we could ever need by giving Himself freely to us. His grace covers us like a fresh blanket of snow.

He is also with us by His Spirit now, strengthening us and giving us all we need. Everything we need for the day or the night ahead is found by resting in Him. Trust His promises. Lean into His Word. Come to Him in your weariness. For what it’s worth, He is worthy.

I will exalt You, my God and King; I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You, and I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; His greatness is unsearchable. One generation will commend Your works to the next, and will proclaim Your mighty acts—the glorious splendor of Your majesty. And I will meditate on Your wondrous works. They will proclaim the power of Your awesome deeds and I will declare Your greatness. They will extol the fame of Your abundant goodness and sing joyfully of Your righteousness. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in loving devotion. The LORD is good to all; His compassion rests on all He has made. All You have made will give You thanks, O LORD, and Your saints will bless You.

Psalm 145 1-10 (BSB)

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I may be able to control what clothing I wear and how many ice cubes I can put in my glass. But that’s not necessarily true in the moments I am walking through in my life on a daily basis. Life can feel pretty out of control, can’t it? (The good news is it’s never out of the Lord’s control, but I digress…).

Isn’t it also true that when the heat and pressure of our life circumstances increase, we are thirsty for relief? We long for the fires of life to be quenched in some way. We pant after it. How long, O Lord? The everyday moments of our caregiving can feel like a long, continuous season with little, if no change happening. We don’t know how many metaphorical ice cubes or layers we will need from one day to the next.

Let me tell you this. It’s because our need for Jesus is constant. It’s daily. It’s unchanging. We may think we can be self-sufficient in one season. Then we are utterly dependent on Jesus the next. But my friend, the truth is we need Him in everything. He upholds our life’s breath.

Today, let Jesus give you the relief. Be washed by His Word. Come to Him for living water. He will uphold you and sustain you every day with fresh grace in samey circumstances. But you need to come to Him first.

It’s no good opening the refrigerator door and leaving it open whilst the cool jug of ice water stays inside. You need to take it by the handle and pour. More than that, you need to drink. In the same way, if you think about spending time with the Lord without being intentional, you’ll feel parched pretty quick. This is not a lecture to hammer home devotional and prayer time. It’s one thirsty caregiver knowing where to go, and sadly, from experience, neglecting time with the one who can satisfy every thirsty longing.

As I was reading Ephesians recently, I was reminded of the most secure place to be in all the world. In Christ. All of our circumstances may be different, although I am sure we would find many things to bond over too! However, for those of us who are in Christ, trusting in Him and His finished work on the cross for our sin, and believing and confessing in our hearts and with our mouths that He is Lord, we are held fast. Secure. Anchored. We have a new identity. We are righteous in Christ. I need to remember where my true security and hope are found on a regular, sometimes hour by hour, minute by minute basis. He upholds every second of my life! And He has secured me a future in the life to come! This is good news!

Before I came to Him in His Word, I related so much to the psalmist who said, ‘I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land’ (Psalm 143:6). By coming again to this living word, His word, I found relief and was reminded of that most secure place of being in Him. Forever.

Spend time reading these verses slowly. Drink them in. Come to Jesus where you are and let these words wash over you today.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV (emphasis added)

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Christ, things in heaven and things on earth in him. Ephesians 1:7-10 ESV (emphasis added)

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:11-12 ESV (emphasis added)

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:13-14 ESV (emphasis added)

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How about you?

Many things may be keeping you awake at night or hijacking your thoughts during the day. How should I respond to that comment? What should I write on that form? How can I explain that in a way they will understand? How can I comfort them in light of this news? I don’t understand any of this myself - what am I going to say to others about it?

When we don’t know what to say, we can pray. Without leaving prayer as a last resort, we can bring each and every situation before the Father from the start.

When we spend time with someone regularly, we get to know them. We might even get a feeling of how they will respond. But we also don’t know for definite how they will react. We may also have no idea what the outcome will be from others in our life, whether friends, extended family, healthcare professionals, educators, support workers, strangers… the list is endless. We can try to anticipate their reactions and prepare for every eventual outcome. But life is full of surprises. Let’s not burn out worrying what others will think of us (easier said than done!).

We may not have the words, but we have the Word. Jesus is more than able to give us all that we need at the appointed time. As we spend time in His Word when we can, and pray to Him throughout our day, we will recognise His voice. By His Spirit leading us, we can speak when we need to, be quick to listen, and considered in our conduct with others.

Don’t worry about what you are to say. Pause. Pray. Petition. The Lord will help you.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

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I am all by myself. Away from my family for months. I don’t know anyone. Oceans separate us.

Whilst the enormity of those thoughts became very real, so did the Bible that was by my side table. All these years later, I am thankful for that Bible in my motel room. Thirsty for truth, I opened it up to Philippians, not really sure what I would find there. Then I saw it, alive and bright on the page, just for me:

Those verses comforted me and would remain an anchor in many of the stormy trials I would walk through—including two cancer diagnoses. The Lord knows how much I would need to refresh my heart and mind with these life-giving words.

I don’t know about you, but even with such wonderful truth as this, anxiety has been a big part of my journey. It still is. Worries and fears are part of being human. Jesus says more than once to not be afraid or not to worry. He knows that we do.

Maybe you are worrying about many things at the moment. Anxiety and fear might take up a lot of your headspace. Especially in those moments when you have time to think. They might seem quite loud in the quiet space.

In Luke 12, Jesus tells His disciples “don’t worry about your life” (verse 22), “don’t be anxious” (verse 29), and “don’t be afraid” (verse 32). He knows that we will, but He also knows all of our needs, worries, and fears. He says He knows what we need (verse 30) and He will provide for our needs (verse 28, 31). Moreover, He delights to give us His kingdom when we seek it (verse 31-32). That is what we are to do when we worry and fear. Seek Him. Seek His face.

It is remembering to seek Him, and in faith living that out when we are in that place of worry and anxiety. I know I am more prone to try and use my own ideas, trust Google, or ask someone else for advice before seeking God first. Why dodge the one who can help us because He knows and loves us? It makes sense living in a fallen world and being naturally bent toward doing things our own way because of the sin that we battle.

But we can turn to Him afresh each day, each moment. He is waiting for us to bring all of our worries and fears to Him. He is gentle and lowly, humble and faithful, kind and patient, wise and good. He gives us Himself—and in Him we have the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). Apart from Him, we can do nothing. We need to remain in Him (see John 15:1-5).

Whatever is stealing your peace today, bring it to the Author and Perfector of your faith—King Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit work in your weakness as you seek Him, lean upon Him, and trust Him to work in you. Rejoice that the Father can work in your loneliness, fear, worry and anxiety. He will strengthen you as you seek Him. Do not be afraid. Do not fear. Do not be anxious. Seek Him. Trust Him. Rest in Him.

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He knows.

We all nodded together in a shared understanding of what this means for us as individuals. We all have different circumstances, different challenges and different needs, but we have the same God who sees and knows all of it. We can come to Him as we are; we are dependent and dearly loved children who are delighted in by the God who knows us completely.

Another woman added that when we are struggling, we can start from a place of acceptance. We can come before God honestly. He already sees and knows us from the depths of our being. We cannot hide our true thoughts and feelings from Him, even if we mask it with pious-sounding prayers. We can cut to the chase. Accept that this is where we find ourselves, whatever mood we are shouldering or mountain we are facing. We bring it all to the God who sees. We take comfort that He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.

If you are struggling today, accept that this is where you find yourself and then bring it to Jesus. Let Him carry that burden. You were not meant to carry it alone. It may feel like you are. It may hurt. But you can be open before Him.

God’s grace is sufficient for you for this day. His mercy is always available to help in time of need. And I bet we can agree together that we recognise our need daily. Therefore, let’s drink deep from His promises. Find fresh hope from His Word. Pray to the one who sees and knows us.

You are dearly loved.

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But sometimes I just don’t feel like singing. Do you relate? Sometimes things are so hard that it’s difficult to shift our focus off of ourselves and our circumstances. So what do we do then? Listen to worship music. Let the songs written and sung by others speak to us. The Psalms are the songs of the saints written with the full colour of human feeling and reality. Reading the Psalms can also help to lift our eyes onto Jesus.

I do not want to say ‘do this’ or ‘try that’ without firstly saying ‘go to Jesus’. Bring it all to Him, honestly. He knows when you don’t feel like singing praise. But I can assure you, today, no matter what your caregiving looks like, there are countless blessings if you slow down with your Saviour. He can renew your heart and mind so your thoughts magnify, glorify and exalt Him. Sometimes, that is just by taking a step of faith to sing. At other times, it is just coming to Him in quiet desperation whilst the songs of other Christians wash over our weariness, and help to lift us up.

Bring it all before Him. Sing to the Lord a new song!

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In the Bible, I love the story where Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to Him. Resting in His presence. Taking in the words of her Lord. In my mind, I am an onlooker of this event, watching Mary’s sister Martha frantically doing all the things required to host. And to host Jesus of all guests! Jesus sees both of these sisters and gets to the heart of the matter. Martha wants Mary to help her. Jesus shows Martha that the best place to be is at His feet. This is a very simplified account, but it got me thinking about resting at the feet of Jesus.

We spend a lot of time on our feet as caregivers. Our feet might ache as we go about our daily tasks. Has anyone else had a foot soak at the end of the day? Or just me? As we serve those in our care, and perhaps even when we place our own tired feet in warm water, we can think upon how Jesus washed His disciples feet. He came to serve, not be served. It was a position of humility. How much more then are we to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, and humble ourselves, serving others like our Lord did?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Without feeling guilty that we are not as humble or as Christ-like as we ought to be, it is an invitation to come to Jesus for rest. True, lasting rest is coming to Him, daily, often, and always, knowing our need for Him, and letting Him wash us afresh by His living Word in the power of the Holy Spirit. Everything we need is found in Him.

As our feet go from one place to another like Martha’s, maybe we should think about Mary’s posture and Christ’s feet. We come hungry for His words like Mary. We consider the feet of Jesus that walked a lonely, suffering road to Calvary. Feet that were pierced and held to a wooden cross — wounds of love and grace that give us an eternal footing in His presence forever. We can rest in the peace that His sacrifice has brought us as we sacrifice daily for others.

At times, resting seems impossible. But God makes it possible. Through Jesus, we have glorious good news. Beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news (Isaiah 52:7). With our feet grounded in the gospel, we can swiftly move into action, serve others and share the truth that Jesus saves.

He gives the rest that so many are searching for. Peace comes from Him.

If you are tired, burnt out, and struggling to find peace in this season, come and rest at the feet of Jesus. Be still, even for a moment. On your bed. In the shower. In nature. Wherever. Start by simply coming before Him. Receive Him. He is indeed the guest of all guests; He reigns and He dwells with us by His Spirit. We can be too busy to notice that Jesus is already here. Let us slow down long enough to sit at His feet, listen to Him, and learn from Him. He will give us the rest our weary souls long for.

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Whether you are waiting for a diagnosis for a child, have the shifting responsibility of providing care for ageing or unwell parents, or you are trying to make sense of the weight of your caring role in whatever capacity, we long for clearcut, instant answers. We cry out to God. Maybe it’s Alexa or Google these days who we put our trust in. But we each seek solace in our struggle somehow.

‘Why?’ is often a word familiar to those who suffer. When I became a mum to my second-born and a few weeks later found out I had cancer again, I asked ‘why?’ in my heart. This was quickly followed by ‘how?’ Why has this happened again? How am I going to care for two children — one who has additional needs and a newborn baby — and walk through another cancer diagnosis?

The why and the how questions are heard by God. He knows what is on our hearts completely, and before a word is even on our lips (Psalm 139:4). That is a comfort that we don’t need to pretend before the Lord. He already knows and sees our deepest aches, and He can comfort us close in them.

As I was reading Romans 15 recently, I was struck afresh by how God is the one who gives the endurance and the encouragement we long for (verse 5). He sustains us and uplifts our hearts. Moreover, I was comforted by a few ‘so that’ verses which highlighted to me that there is meaning and purpose at play, even when we don’t always have the bigger picture:

• For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4

• For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. Romans 15:8-9

• May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

There are reasons in our ‘why’ moments; we cannot always perceive them in the moment, nor may we ever know fully this side of eternity. As painful as that is, we can trust in the one who knows the end from the beginning. The patriarchs only knew in part the wonder of God’s plan, but still trusted in God by faith. Their words we read in Scripture pointed toward and were fulfilled in Jesus. We have the beauty of the gospel of Christ now, and hold onto the future hope we have to look forward to by faith. The Bible is God’s story from everlasting to everlasting. The few verses above show great purpose when many would have wondered ‘why’ at the time.

Let’s make verse 13 our prayer, that the God of hope will fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in Him, so that we may overflow with hope by the power of His Spirit. This hope does not disappoint. As we turn back to Romans 5:1-5, we are reminded:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

May this truth be an anchor to your soul and an encouragement as you endure, my friend.

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Ahoy! My name is Ruth Clemence and I am behind this new venture! The vision of Anchored Hope For Her Heart is to support women who are caregivers by providing encouragement and an eternal perspective to live for Jesus in faith, hope and love, right where they are. I hope to provide resources and fellowship that steer women toward the hope God gives to His daughters through the gospel of Jesus Christ. One of those resources will be here on Substack!

I plan to share content that will uplift and encourage, point to God through His words in the Bible, and speak honestly about the joys, as well as the concerns and cares of the heart on this journey of faith and caregiving.

Although there is a warm welcome waiting for you at ruthclemence.com, I truly wanted a home where I could write just to you. Please make yourself at home here as well!

Why have I started Anchored Hope For Her Heart?

After watching my mum care for my sister with cerebral palsy for over two decades, having several friends who are caring for family and friends with additional needs, being cared for myself by others through two cancer diagnoses, working in a hospital as an auxiliary nurse for cancer patients, supporting a network of carers through content creation, and now walking the road myself as a special needs parent, I had a longing to create something for caregivers that strengthens their faith and gives them encouragement in their daily life.

The one thing I want to do is always point to Jesus. He is the anchor to hold us in the storms of daily life; indeed, He is the one who can command the wind and waves to be still, too. His death, resurrection, and ascension are glorious truths to take hold of. He promises to never leave nor forsake us. He watches our going out and our coming in. Time and again, He has sustained me and my family when we have been in the depths. I pray you will know the Lord is with you in every moment. You are seen. You are loved. What you do matters. But who you are matters - and that is what I want to remind you of. Your identity and security in Christ.

What else can I expect from Anchored Hope For Her Heart?

This is a new ministry which I am committing to the Lord, and taking one step at a time with. Therefore, it’s under development and much prayer. However, some of my hopes for supporting you through resources and fellowship include:

1. Instagram - encouragement through bite-size reflections, images, quotes, Bible verses, book recommendations, and prayers to edify you.

2. Substack - I will try to post consistently here on topics that will build you up in your faith, and speak into struggles with the truth of scripture.

3. Hope Mentoring - In 2025, I am hoping to re-start online mentoring for women who would appreciate space to talk, be listened to, and lovingly reminded of their ultimate hope in Jesus.

4. Devotionals - I am currently writing some devotional material that I would like to make available in the future.

5. Hope With Ruth Podcast - I would like to re-start my podcast at some point in 2025. This is a Christian living podcast to help you to stay anchored to, take heart in, and stand firm on the truth and hope found in Jesus Christ. Watch this space!

I think that’s quite the list for now! But hopefully, bit by bit, you will find something that will speak to your heart and situation.

If you would like to get in touch, please contact me: hello@ruthclemence.com

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